When Manhood Scares Your Socks Off!

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Gail & Bill 1999

Gail & Bill 1999

What are some of your manhood moments when you felt fear, failure and disappointment as a man? 

 

1999.  Two years after my wife and I started Osiris Organization. http://osirisorganization.org

I had no idea how it was affecting me.  I felt overwhelmed.

Consumed with raising money, developing programs, mentoring youth and managing staff. I was unaware I was neglecting being a friend and husband to my spouse.

I remember that day when Gail said;  “Honey, you are working really hard but the stress is impacting you in ways that you are not aware.”

My manly reply, “Oh baby, I’m OK, we will get through this.” But I wasn’t OK!

 

I was in denial.  I didn’t want to acknowledge my fear, the struggle and disappointments most entrepreneurs experience during the start up years.

 

Several more weeks went like this and Gail put her foot down in the most loving way.

“I have an idea. My cousin is building a house in Barbados.  It’s in the rural area of the island and nowhere near a resort.

“I will arrange for you to go and get away for a week. You can relax and have a fresh look at things when you get back.  What do you say, my love?” At that moment I knew she was right!

At the airport. “Honey, give me your cell phone, you won’t need it where you are going.  I will take care of all of your calls while you are away.  Just spend the week just relaxing.”

As I turn to enter the terminal gates she held my arm and looked into my eyes.

 

“When you return, bring my husband back!  I want that patient, understanding and loving man that I married.”

 

All of the fear, guilty left me.  I had to acknowledge that I was not being a good friend and husband to the person that I adored with all my heart.

This was one of several pivotal points in our marriage that produced bonding, awareness and a commitment to our relationship.

 

Wouldn’t we as men benefit more if we acknowledged our fears?

 

 

 

A powerful manhood moment!

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BillRoddy_ManhoodFTHood_FBArt_61913_44One of the most powerful statements made to me was from my biological dad. I had never met him only heard statements made from other family members over the years as a young man.

As I entered my later teens my desire to meet, hopefully establish a relationship, the other person who was responsibility for me being in the world became an obsessive curiosity.

I had to meet him to satisfy my curiosity.

One of my most powerful moments was meeting and hearing my biological father say these words to me:

 

“I am glad to hear from you.”

If you are mentoring youth do you share some of your most powerful emotional experiences with your mentee?  If not, why?

 

I know as an adult male, hearing those words from my biological father set in motion a healing, forgiveness and an acceptance process for me.

 

Meeting him helped me move on in life!

 

What memorable moments in your early childhood do your remember?

 

 

 

 

 

 

How do we deal with periods of transition?

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BillRoddy_ManhoodFTHood_FBArt_61913_39Observing human behavior over the last few days in regards to current government situation I couldn’t help but reflect on the difficulties that accompany periods of transition, for  community,  for society and for business.

Our organization, Osiris Organization, is going through a transitional period.  We love the growth that its producing.

During periods of transition does it fill us with laughter, excitement and pure enjoyment? Absolutely not!  Our goals are to grow as individuals and as an organization is paramount. Sometimes that’s painful!

 

Why does change invoke fear within us as individuals, a community and as a society?

Do we want things to remain the same so that we can ‘feel’ secure?

 

The beauty of working with youth, being an animal lover and loving nature is this: They teach humans how to embarrass change, grow, love unconditionally  and move on and accept the cycles of life!

 

 

Isn’t it exciting when the mentee becomes the mentor?

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Cortez, Bill & Steve

Cortez, Bill & Steve

 

This afternoon I had lunch with Cortez Wilson and Steve Mincey. Both of whom I have the utmost respect because of the men, fathers and husbands they have become.

In 1998, Osiris Organization formed its collaboration with the Minneapolis Park and Recreation public parks.  A teenager at the time, Cortez brought the idea me to build computer labs in the parks.

It started in 1998 at Powderhorn Park. In 2013 there are 27 Osiris constructed computer labs open to the public in the City of Minneapolis!

Our lunch meeting was not about the computer labs. It’s about life we live as men, helping our community and the continual mentoring to other young men like Cortez. Corky Wiseman, Steve and I made sure that Cortez was supported.  We committed to a life-long relationship with him. We see the impact Cortez is having with his peers, as a young business owner and father.

“Mr. Roddy, you have taught me a lot about computers.  I live in south Minneapolis near Powderhorn Park and I don’t have anywhere to go to continue working on my skills.  Why don’t you construct a computer lab in Powderhorn Park?”

I remember Cortez’s request.  It seems like only a few months ago.  I can still see the earnest honesty in his eyes.  We eventually constructed our first computer lab at Powderhorn Park in 1998 under the direction of the Director, Corky Wiseman.  Cortez was employed in the computer lab.  Youth Director Steve Mincey mentored Cortez, Corkey Wiseman mentored Steve.

 

What was so special about our meeting this afternoon?

The mentee, Cortez, now is asked to be a mentor!

 

In 1998 we created a ‘village’ like the one I had growing up in inner city Chicago on the 60s.  Men would take part in raising, mentoring and disciplining the young boys in our community.

I am deeply honored to have men like Corky Wiseman, Steve Mincey and Cortez Wilson in my life.  We three are dedicated to making a difference.

 

Doesn’t it inspiring you to know that it only takes a few caring men to create a ‘village’?

 

Please keep mentoring young males. They need that support to help them transition into manhood!