When Manhood Scares Your Socks Off!

Gail & Bill 1999

Gail & Bill 1999

What are some of your manhood moments when you felt fear, failure and disappointment as a man? 

 

1999.  Two years after my wife and I started Osiris Organization. http://osirisorganization.org

I had no idea how it was affecting me.  I felt overwhelmed.

Consumed with raising money, developing programs, mentoring youth and managing staff. I was unaware I was neglecting being a friend and husband to my spouse.

I remember that day when Gail said;  “Honey, you are working really hard but the stress is impacting you in ways that you are not aware.”

My manly reply, “Oh baby, I’m OK, we will get through this.” But I wasn’t OK!

 

I was in denial.  I didn’t want to acknowledge my fear, the struggle and disappointments most entrepreneurs experience during the start up years.

 

Several more weeks went like this and Gail put her foot down in the most loving way.

“I have an idea. My cousin is building a house in Barbados.  It’s in the rural area of the island and nowhere near a resort.

“I will arrange for you to go and get away for a week. You can relax and have a fresh look at things when you get back.  What do you say, my love?” At that moment I knew she was right!

At the airport. “Honey, give me your cell phone, you won’t need it where you are going.  I will take care of all of your calls while you are away.  Just spend the week just relaxing.”

As I turn to enter the terminal gates she held my arm and looked into my eyes.

 

“When you return, bring my husband back!  I want that patient, understanding and loving man that I married.”

 

All of the fear, guilty left me.  I had to acknowledge that I was not being a good friend and husband to the person that I adored with all my heart.

This was one of several pivotal points in our marriage that produced bonding, awareness and a commitment to our relationship.

 

Wouldn’t we as men benefit more if we acknowledged our fears?