What attributes of Mr. Mandela do you admire?

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BillRoddy_ManhoodFTHood_FBArt_61913_16As we mourn the passing of Nelson Mandela I reflect on the life lessons he embodied.

I admire his forgiveness and perseverance!

Couldn’t we all learn and grow from these attributes that he personified?

 How many of us could keep a loving heart after being incarcerated for 27 years?

 

 As an adult man, husband, mentor and business owner, I try to follow these attributes.  Sometimes life throws obstacles in our lives to present us with the opportunity to grow.  There were times when I didn’t want to deal with these “opportunities.”

 

Could you imagine being in Nelson Mandela’s position when he was a young man?

 

Had a chat this evening with a young man I mentor: “Mr. Roddy, How could Mr. Mandela be incarcerated for 27 years and not remain angry toward the people who incarcerated him? I’m only 25 and it’s hard for me to understand.”

 

“It is hard to understand, I admire his forgiveness and perseverance.” I responded.

 

 Rest in peace Mr. Mandela, you have inspired us all!

How do we deal with Grief when it strikes?

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BillRoddy_ManhoodFTHood_FBArt_61913_41The devastation in the Philippine Islands caused me to consider GRIEF and LOSS.

 

I can recall the loss of loved ones and wondered, “why them?”  They are from different ethnicities, religions and cultures.

 

Haven’t we all experienced GRIEF?

 

(GRIEF: Deep mental anguish, as over loss: SORROW)

 

Many of us have shared stories of the loss of loved ones over the years. I know I have.  I remember loved ones I cherished who have passed.  One of the most devastating was when my biological father passed.  I didn’t know how to deal with the LOSS!  

Over time we all learn to acknowledge the loss, heal and move on!

 

What are the lessons to be learned from GRIEF?

 

Is GRIEF an important part of living?  Teaching us to value simplicity and the enjoyment in the present moment? 

 

What about our CHILDREN?  They seem to ‘move on’ much quicker than adults.

 

Sad and thoughtful this evening.

 

 

When Manhood Scares Your Socks Off!

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Gail & Bill 1999

Gail & Bill 1999

What are some of your manhood moments when you felt fear, failure and disappointment as a man? 

 

1999.  Two years after my wife and I started Osiris Organization. http://osirisorganization.org

I had no idea how it was affecting me.  I felt overwhelmed.

Consumed with raising money, developing programs, mentoring youth and managing staff. I was unaware I was neglecting being a friend and husband to my spouse.

I remember that day when Gail said;  “Honey, you are working really hard but the stress is impacting you in ways that you are not aware.”

My manly reply, “Oh baby, I’m OK, we will get through this.” But I wasn’t OK!

 

I was in denial.  I didn’t want to acknowledge my fear, the struggle and disappointments most entrepreneurs experience during the start up years.

 

Several more weeks went like this and Gail put her foot down in the most loving way.

“I have an idea. My cousin is building a house in Barbados.  It’s in the rural area of the island and nowhere near a resort.

“I will arrange for you to go and get away for a week. You can relax and have a fresh look at things when you get back.  What do you say, my love?” At that moment I knew she was right!

At the airport. “Honey, give me your cell phone, you won’t need it where you are going.  I will take care of all of your calls while you are away.  Just spend the week just relaxing.”

As I turn to enter the terminal gates she held my arm and looked into my eyes.

 

“When you return, bring my husband back!  I want that patient, understanding and loving man that I married.”

 

All of the fear, guilty left me.  I had to acknowledge that I was not being a good friend and husband to the person that I adored with all my heart.

This was one of several pivotal points in our marriage that produced bonding, awareness and a commitment to our relationship.

 

Wouldn’t we as men benefit more if we acknowledged our fears?

 

 

 

A powerful manhood moment!

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BillRoddy_ManhoodFTHood_FBArt_61913_44One of the most powerful statements made to me was from my biological dad. I had never met him only heard statements made from other family members over the years as a young man.

As I entered my later teens my desire to meet, hopefully establish a relationship, the other person who was responsibility for me being in the world became an obsessive curiosity.

I had to meet him to satisfy my curiosity.

One of my most powerful moments was meeting and hearing my biological father say these words to me:

 

“I am glad to hear from you.”

If you are mentoring youth do you share some of your most powerful emotional experiences with your mentee?  If not, why?

 

I know as an adult male, hearing those words from my biological father set in motion a healing, forgiveness and an acceptance process for me.

 

Meeting him helped me move on in life!

 

What memorable moments in your early childhood do your remember?