“Do you remember the day, the event, when you knew…’Now, I truly am a grown man?'” Part 2

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African American father and sonIn August, it was the time I became a man in eyes of my grandfather.

Earlier in the summer, prior to leaving to attend college in Minnesota,  I had made contact with my biological for the first time in my life.  The experience of meeting my biological father for the first time was an overwhelming experience to say the least.

I was able to get in touch with, meet, and have a enjoyable conversation with Butch, the other person responsible for bringing me into the world.

My grandfather knew that I had made contact with my biological father.  One afternoon, Daddy and I were in our garage repairing the door when he asked me this unexpected question:

“What do you think of Butch?”

I quickly replied, “I did not mean any disrespect toward you and mamma.”

“Son, you are a man now. You can make your own decisions. Do what you think is best. I trust you.”

On that hot August afternoon I became a grown man in the eyes of my grandfather.  That was my rite of passage, my confirmation, an acknowledgement and a huge transition in my young life.

 

Do you remember an event, a conversation with your father, grandparent, older brother, uncle, adult male cousin, male teacher or coach who help you transitioned into manhood?

What did they say to you?

When did you know that you were a man?

Have you reached out to other boys by sharing your wisdom and understanding of manhood?

Isn’t it interesting to know that one of the most fulfilling aspects of my life is mentoring boys and helping them transition into manhood?

Happy Father’s Day to all of the wonderful and loving men who are making a difference in the lives of so many!

From My Heart to Yours!

“Do you remember the day, the event, when you knew…’Now, I truly am a grown man?'” Part 1

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African American father and son

As  we reflect on this upcoming Father’s Day weekend I could not help sharing one of the most powerful statements my grandfather made to me. I was 18 and preparing to leave home for the first time. I remember our conversation as if it took place only a few weeks ago.

 That entire summer was filled with excitement, happiness but also with sadness as I was preparing to transition into manhood. I would be leaving my mentoring role as the oldest grandchild of my grandparents.

Several of my aunt’s children lived with us, my grandfather and grandmother, and I was their mentor and “big brother.”  As I look back on those hot summer August days they were some of most the memorable.

I can still see my aunt’s loving and supportive faces, their kids innocent looks filled with curiosity on our front porch on why I was leaving them to go to this strange place in the north called Minnesota to attend college.

My grandmother stood in the doorway smiling at me as I was about to leave. When she smiled at me she touched my spirit like no other.

“We raised you the best we could and remember that you were loved! Do unto others as you would yourself as you enter the world.”

But a few days earlier, my grandfather made the most powerful statement.

Would a rite of passage benefit so many young fatherless boys?

What would be a useful rite of passage?

Would a loving relationship with an adult male help heal the inner loneliness and anger?

 

A Time To Reflect on the Past!

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Please read this wonderful the University of Chicago Magazine article.

Several months after I completed my memoir, Manhood From the Hood, I found out that Mike Fourcher’s dad in 1971 had taken many photos of my “hood” in inner city Chicago.  Back then the University of Illinois called it the “Valley” because they had setup a clinic in our neighborhood.  We never knew this is what they called our neighborhood.  We just lived our lives and this is the area where I learned my values.  So much of my book is dedicated to this area while living in the “Valley.”  This was our “village” and I am proud to have experienced growing in this area during the 60’s. Please view the photos after you read the article.

Please click on link to read full article.

http://magazine.uchicago.edu/1110/kelly_lost-and-found.shtml

Excerpts From Manhood From the Hood

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The last several Mondays I have enjoyed posting the excerpts from Bill’s book, Manhood From the Hood. Bill’s book inspired me to reflect on my life, my family values and the many  high school youth I have had the honor to coach over the years. These are my last post and thanks for taking the time to read them.
“More excerpts from Manhood From the Hood by Coach Welter.”
69. What type of husband and father will I be?
70.What is an introspective journey?

71. Through my 8 year friendship with Gail Lamb, I was forced to learn how to develop an authentic, loving, caring, platonic relationship with a woman.72. Remain independent.  Make your own decisions.  Never ask anyone to so something for you that you can do for yourself.

73. To be an ambassador for the values my grandparents, aunts, and other adult mentors in our community, who cared about young people taught me while I was growing up in Chicago.

74. In July of 1997 – we founded Osiris Organization with great hopes for the future of our youth and our country.