Mentoring young men my life’s purpose!

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Realizing your life’s purpose does not shield you from life’s disappointments.

I had a lunch meeting with a young man I’ve mentored for many years. He has struggled over the years like most of us.

“Sebastian, how are you coming along with developing a relationship  with you sons and their mothers?”

“Well Mr. Roddy, I haven’t had much contact with them at all.  The mothers and I just can’t seem to come to an agreement on anything so I decide to walk away from the situation.”

“What do you mean you are walking away from the situations…………..?”

These type of conversations are the most painful I’ve had with young men.  They seem to think its acceptable to walk away from their responsibilities after bringing children into the world.  If obstacles or adversity present themselves some of them look for the nearest exit door.

 

Why do some men think ‘just walking away’ from their responsibilities is  acceptable? 

When did this ideology consume so many young men in our today’s culture?

 

While growing up in the 60s and 70s in Chicago I remember many conversations my aunts and I had about being responsible, respecting young women and not to bring a child into the world while being one myself.

I know I’m just one man trying to instill positive values into the young men I mentor.  As men, sometimes our  efforts don’t seem to make a difference.  When we see positive changes in one we press on to save one young life at a time!

 

 

When did you know that mentoring would be part of your life?

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As a young man leaving home for the first time in August 1975 to attend college, I knew mentoring youth eventually would be a part of life.

My young cousins stood on our front porch watching me leave. They admired me and at the same time were sad I was going away from them.  I was their older cousin and a big brother figure.

Venturing out in the world to this unknown place called Minnesota I remembered the overwhelming emotions of sadness, excitement and guilt of leaving my young cousins.  This was the first time in my life I truly felt vulnerable.

Cameron Conway, author of Caged: Memoir of a Cage-Fighting Poet said it best!

“Ultimate vulnerability. That’s manly.”

I remember those  feelings that day in 1975.  I know those feelings were instrumental in helping me mature. They also laid the foundation for me to realize my life’s purpose:

Guiding young men as they transition into manhood by helping them emotionally identify with all aspects of themselves.

Whatever path you walk I’m sure you’ve mentored someone whose life is forever enhanced!

How do you feel about being a mentor and transforming even one small corner of our world?

I’d love to hear about it!

Are we ultimately in the relationship building business?

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BillRoddy_ManhoodFTHood_FBArt_61913_43This evening I had an interesting conversation with a young man I’ve been mentoring for many years. He’s had a series of challenges in life like most of us.

Today was something special.  He’s learning an important aspect of life; how to establish long lasting relationships in his personal and business life!

“Mr. Roddy, I’m starting to realize you eventually have to make a living by doing things you love and focus on building loving relationships with your family.”

I listened to him share his thoughts, I wanted to jump up and down and give him several ‘high fives.’ I reminded calm and asked him a few more questions and listen.

“Bob, how did you come to these conclusions?”

“Mr. Roddy, I’ve been watching Mrs. Roddy and you for twelve years. It’s starting to make sense to me.  Most of my struggles in my relationship with my fiancée are results of my perceptions of what I thought a man should be.

“What made you reconsider your approach?”  “I remembered the conversations we had when I was young. “You always shared with me that when our thoughts about life cause us pain they are signals for us to look within so that we can examine our thoughts, behavior and actions towards others.”

“What has cause you pain in your relationship with your fiancée?”  “I was valuing things and money more than relationships.”

 

Wouldn’t all of us love to grow by learning the art of establishing long-lasting relationships?

Don’t you feel knowing that when relationships are established the sky is the unlimited in our personal lives and in business?

What will we value when it’s our time to leave this earthly body?

Would it be things we own, our net worth, names on buildings, or would it be the relationship we’ve established with love ones?”

 

 

 

The power of a loved one’s words!

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BillRoddy_ManhoodFTHood_FBArt_61913_50Can you remember a powerful statement someone made to you when you were young?

My grandfather and I met on our front porch on that memorable hot August afternoon on the west side of Chicago in 1975.  I was leaving home for the first time to attend college. Little did I know that day would be monumental.

I recall the overwhelming emotions as he spoke to me.

“Son, I am proud of you…………”

As a young man struggling to leave the nest and venture out into the world, my grandfather’s loving and powerful statement validated me as a man.  That was my rite of passage moment that I will never forget.

While mentoring young men for  20 years I have observed that for many no loving adult male figure has confirmed their transition into manhood.  Why do I know this to be true?   I can, feel and sense the uneasiness, pain and anger in them before they utter one single word.

Wouldn’t you agree that it is very powerful when a positive adult male confirms a young boy transitioning into manhood?

Wouldn’t it make a difference if all mentoring programs provided rites of passage ceremonies for young men and women?

Do you remember memorable words another person said to you?