A Time To Reflect on the Past!

Please read this wonderful the University of Chicago Magazine article.

Several months after I completed my memoir, Manhood From the Hood, I found out that Mike Fourcher’s dad in 1971 had taken many photos of my “hood” in inner city Chicago.  Back then the University of Illinois called it the “Valley” because they had setup a clinic in our neighborhood.  We never knew this is what they called our neighborhood.  We just lived our lives and this is the area where I learned my values.  So much of my book is dedicated to this area while living in the “Valley.”  This was our “village” and I am proud to have experienced growing in this area during the 60’s. Please view the photos after you read the article.

Please click on link to read full article.

http://magazine.uchicago.edu/1110/kelly_lost-and-found.shtml

Parents R Us!

Once upon a time, youth held me true

Teasing my dad (did you do that too?)

I’d point, “Dad, that grey in your beard is telling on you!

I feel sad you’re so old

Your best years a memory

Dad, don’t you long to be ME

Fit, fine, and willowy?”

 

I’ve never forgotten my father’s retort

The memory resounds

With fatherly patience, eyes downcast,

Dad quietly responds

“Daughter, if the earth below you keeps rounding the sun

If the air through your nose keeps expanding your lungs

Then some youngster will tease YOU as YOUR knees creak

And you can answer yourself, that question so deep!”

 

Relationships R Us

A dear friend quizzed me a few days ago

“Gail, I have just one thing I would sure like to know”

“When it comes to marriage, particularly your own

Is it a slam-dunk…would you claim it a success?

Or are there times you wish a return to a life of singleness?”

I furrowed my brow as I pondered while mute

Marriage, parenting, family and friends

These relationships flow through all our lives beginning to end

How do I answer her question and tell her the truth?

“Ah, my friend,” I finally responded

“Over the years, various connections with people have entered my life

Some connections are fluid, supportive; others are filled with strife”

“But one thing I know from the light in my heart

I do savor my marriage to Bill Roddy, until death do us part

And if I am the one rendered single that day

I can sit here before you and honestly say

No greater joy, no greater success hath this woman known

Than marriage, where sharing, comfort, and compassion have consistently grown”

Fatherhood lost…and not forgotten

 

My dad passed away and was buried during the first 2 weeks of August 1987. So for twenty-four years, the first 2 weeks of August have been a time of deep reflection for me.

My dad and I had a close bond while I was a little girl. He could do no wrong in the eyes of his only daughter.

But from the time I reached puberty until his death, our relationship was contentious. Dad was a proud, unyielding, old school type of guy—common for his generation. That clashed mightily with my budding feminism throughout the 1970s and ‘80s.  We bewildered—no, pissed one another off—regularly.

But it’s during this anniversary time that I think about how much I’ve evolved and matured over the twenty-four years he has been gone; how I’ve made peace with the man who used to rile me up. I know I loved him and I know he loved me before I even knew what love is. If he were still alive today, surely Dad would have matured and evolved as well, don’t you think?

Remember that old saying about most of life’s traumas? “One day you’ll look back on this and laugh!”

Dad, I’m laughing my head off at our former silliness. I bet you are laughing too.