Parenting

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Being a parent to my child is very important. My mother was a single mom. She did the best she could as a young parent to me and my two siblings, but the important things did not take place in our household. I love my mother and I appreciate the things that she did for my siblings and me and I believe it was my experiences within my household that have made me a great father.

I took my six-year-old son Cordell out to dinner Saturday night. Before we were done with dinner, a total stranger approached our table. “My friend and I are educators and we want to say that we appreciate that you are spending time alone with your son–it is very important.” I responded with “thank you” and it felt good to have someone recognize my son and I spending time together. It is not important for me to get “props” for being a father because it should be something that is expected. Sadly there are many kids today that do not have their father’s in their lives. I was one of those kids.

A child that doesn’t receive the proper parenting may not have the best life and as a parent you want your child to have the best life. There is not one perfect way to parent a child; it all depends on the child.

My son is only 6, so I have a long way to go, and I am still learning how to be a better parent every day. I believe the foundation of parenting starts when a child is born and it never ends even when they become adults. I created a structure for my son that has been the same for years and it seems to be very affective. We eat our meals together, we talk about how our days were, we do planned activities weekly, and I read to him. We also do a lot of educational activities together.

I cannot express how I’ve learned how important it is to show my child that I love and care for him. If I remember correctly, parenting is defined as the care, love, and guidance. Children have their slip-ups, which require some type of discipline. I chose early not to discipline my son physically; I chose the method of taking what he likes the most away from him, and explaining to him why it is not okay to do whatever he did. Like I mentioned earlier, you cannot parent every child the same way, my method of disciplining my son happens to work for us. I can give my son that look that he is familiar with and he gets back in line.

I can go on and on about parenting and the importance of it. I recommend that you find your best, most effective way of teaching your kids and master it.

~Cortez

Advice to my 21-year old Self, by Stuart Stephens

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1. When you were 21-years-old, where were you living and what were you doing?

By age 21 I was in my second of three-years at San Jose State University in California. A year prior to that, I transferred from a community college near Sacramento where I was raised. Upon graduation from high school, my best option was community college. I had languished in the pursuit of even a high school diploma. I had little awareness of the consequence of that decision.

My second year at San Jose State was pivotal for me because it marked the time when I decided to become an architect. A light came on, so to speak. More importantly, by that time, I developed an appreciation for learning, so higher education then became a pursuit.

2. What did you worry about—what was that one thing that you feared the most?

What I feared most? A dead-end life was my deep, unspoken fear. And time. The consequence time had on every aspect of my life began to unveil. The train was leaving the station and I wasn’t safely aboard. That sobering awareness began to knowingly and unknowingly influence my decisions.

3. What did you hope the future held for you?

I likened my time in college to a traveler on a journey who avoids putting down roots or establishing attachments that threaten mobility. At that time I hoped to become a successful architect designing prestigious projects, seeking adventure travelling the world through bachelorhood before settling down with a small family and a big house.

4. How did you define what it meant to be a man?

My religious foundation influenced some of my major decisions and perhaps kept me from serious offenses and jail. By no means, however, did I walk the straight and narrow path. In fact, I committed all too many selfish, youthful offenses that kept me hovering in mediocrity.

My concept of manhood was underpinned by the notion that I had such potential, opportunity and moral foundation, that I should conduct myself accordingly, or at least better than those who were less fortunate. This idea was flawed and misdirected but it probably kept me out of serious trouble.  It provided me the rationale for conducting my life with honesty, responsibility, accountability, kindness, and compassion. I had a belief system, and, for the time being, I could act with an undivided heart.

My advice to my 21-year-old self? Seek and search for what is right. Seeking the answer will put you in a position to do what you believe is right.

Advice to my 21-year old Self, By Troy Ephriam

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1. When you were 21 years old, where were you living and what were you doing?

I was at home living with my parents, working at CCH Computax, and going to school at El Camino Community College.

2. What did you worry about–what was that one thing that you feared the most?

Being unemployed and penniless, without and education

3. What did you hope the future held for you?

That I would graduate college, find a good job, and retire from that organization with a full pension and a gold watch.

4. How did you define what it meant to be a man?

Being a man meant taking care, and protecting, my family.

5. What advice do you give today to that young man of yesterday?

Stay in college and get the most education you can. Don’t just go to graduate. Get the education, and stay until you’ve earned a post graduate or doctorial degree. I also would’ve told myself to seek God’s face to find out His vision for my life.

Advice for My 21-year-old Self, by Myron Hoskins

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Myron's answers to his 21 year old self.

1. When you were 21 years old, where were you living and what were you doing?

I was in the third year of a 5-year undergraduate cooperative education engineering curriculum at Michigan State University in East Lansing, Michigan. I’d go to college for two consecutive quarters (Winter & Spring), then work full time (co-op) for two quarters (Summer and Fall). It was a good way to pay for my education while gaining valuable and relevant engineering work experience that gave me a competitive advantage over my peers in seeking full time work post-graduation.

2. What did you worry about–what was that one thing that you feared the most?

Failure. I knew failure was not an option for me. I believed that if I fell short of obtaining my degree, that I’d return home humiliated with limited options and would probably end up getting involved with the wrong crowd. Remaining focused on my goal and maintaining a positive “can do” attitude when I struggled are personal attributes that helped me succeed when I witnessed others drop out of engineering.

3. What did you hope the future held for you?

Opportunity. The opportunity to fulfill my potential and make a positive contribution in this world using my God-given abilities.

4. How did you define what it meant to be a man?

A man had to be strong, both physically and mentally, keep his emotions under control, be disciplined, fulfill his obligations and keep his word.

5. What advice do you give today to that young man of yesterday?

Life will take you on a journey and present you with many opportunities, obstacles to overcome, bumps in the road manage, dilemmas you don’t completely understand, and some difficult decisions to make. Having faith in a higher being, maintaining high moral character, and helping others improve their circumstances will provide the roadmap to keep you on the right path in this journey with humility. If you strive to see the good in others, forgive those who have done you wrong, and lend a hand to assist others who are making the effort to improve themselves, you will not only be a man, but your life will also be enriched with love, peace and happiness.